No nonsense christian dating

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Jefferson City, Missouri, is a place where it's harder for a college-educated, twentysomething, professional, Christian man to find a date than it is to find a good coffeehouse or bookstore.

For the last four years, I have lived in a very conservative Midwestern town of 35,000.

So I skimmed the book to appease my mom and tossed it aside. And then chose to cut the crap and take God seriously in every part of her life. Five years after I dissed Elliot’s book, I was 21 and typing with trembling hands a letter to her to ask if she’d be willing to review the unpublished manuscript of a book I was writing called “I Kissed Dating Goodbye.” (Needless to say, I’d come a long way from my views as a 16-year-old.) I rewrote my letter to her at least three times.

As my mom later joked, I read all the “passion,” but skipped all the “purity.” But after a few years of frustration with my own approach to dating (and without the pressure of my mom forcing me to read it) I picked up Elliot’s book again. I read the story of Jim and Elisabeth — two people who were passionately in love and yet chose to put Jesus first. In one discarded version I told Elliot that I doubted my book was even worth publishing since hers was so much better.

And because I endlessly quoted her I suggested that I “just forget my book and work at selling yours.” I was discouraged about my book and almost ready to give up on it.

I’ll never forget the day I received a typed, postcard reply from her. I applaud your forthrightness, courage, God-given conviction, and ability to articulate a message that is desperately needed.” I still have that little note taped in a journal. And helped me to sell my book to a publisher and not a few readers.

In my mind she stood in the way of me being with my girlfriend — or, more specifically, me making out with my girlfriend — and I would not abide by this meddling.

Of course, Elliot knew nothing of me or my girlfriend, but she had written a book on the topic of relationships called “Passion & Purity” that threatened to disrupt my happy love life. Giving me a book was mom’s not-so-subtle way of telling me I had a problem. Jesus is Lord so let him be Lord of your love life.

And I certainly didn’t want Christ controlling it because I knew that would make it boring. Elliot had this unsentimental, no-nonsense approach to living the Christian life that was refreshing and jarring in an “Ice-Bucket Challenge” sort of way. Jesus is Lord so let him define how you view your gender and sexuality.” I guess a lot of people who read her writing would consider it all very backward and old-fashioned, but when I read it I can’t shake the sense that this woman had a real relationship with a glorious God. I think our whole generation of evangelicals needs her directness.

September 28, 2015 (Break Point) -- Ronald Reagan once quipped that the trouble with his political opponents, “is not that they are ignorant.

It’s just that they know so much that isn’t so.” Well, I’ve had a bee in my bonnet for years over something that far too many of my fellow Christians believe in that just isn’t so.

Have you ever heard the fairytale about the princess in shining armor? She crosses an ocean, slays a dragon and rescues the man she loves? And don't hide behind the whole too-holy-for-love façade. His questions echoed the problem I'd heard lamented from the other side of the gender divide. Those are just two anecdotes, but they reflect a larger trend. So why are Christian men not stepping up to the plate? These days women are encouraged to be more aggressive while men risk appearing domineering if they get the ball rolling. While such political correctness is peddled in higher education and the media, it usually doesn't apply in the real world, where women still appreciate a man with the gumption and guts to make the first move.

If that's you, then I have some no-nonsense advice: It's time to man-up and take the lead in the romance department. A few weeks earlier I had received an email from a young man looking for advice. Kiesling reports her findings from an in-depth survey of 120 single Christian women. Kiesling reports: "Over and over I heard the words, 'I wish men would step up to the plate and take a risk in asking me out.'" Here is feedback that Kiesling received directly from real-world single Christian women about Christian men. First, our increasingly politically correct culture tells guys that women have equal responsibility when it comes to initiating the relationship.

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